During my teenage years, I distinctly remember being advised to exercise caution when it came to the world, especially in the presence of men. I was brought up with the notion that it was my responsibility, as a woman, to be vigilant around men, helping them restrain their actions or preventing them from causing me harm or violating my boundaries. It’s disheartening, isn’t it? Unfortunately, this is the reality for most women. We are told that if a man transgresses our boundaries, it’s likely our fault, that we must have done something to attract their attention inappropriately.
This is precisely why it’s crucial for women to voice their experiences of being conditioned to diminish themselves or maintain constant self-awareness. For instance, in her Instagram post, Dolly Singh expressed the discomfort and challenges she faces when engaging in conversations with men who hold more power than her.
Singh has eloquently articulated something that resonates with hundreds of women. Women are acutely conscious of how they are perceived by the men around them, especially those in positions of power. We are cautious not to send any unintentional signals or convey any unsaid messages that might suggest an interest we do not actually possess.
Online discussions about Singh’s post have generated noteworthy comments:
- “When I used to live in Hyderabad, I was persistently pursued by small producers and directors to act in movies, even though I’m not an actor or a model. I would usually decline, but out of curiosity and peer pressure, I once agreed to meet with a director who initially appeared charming. However, what followed was horrifying. He would frequently summon me to his office, which was located in his house, ostensibly to discuss everything except the script or payment, effectively wasting my time. His behavior was disturbing; he touched me inappropriately and persistently attempted to get me to consume alcohol or drugs, all of which I firmly rejected. None of our interactions occurred over text, and he would call me from different random numbers each time. Initially, he did not directly hint at sexual favors, but after several meetings, he bluntly informed me that after our dinner meeting, we would be heading to a hotel for sex. He even invited another older producer to that dinner, apparently to involve me in another project, but when that producer realized I wouldn’t sleep with him, he left. This director informed me that this was the norm—actresses were expected to engage in such behavior initially. All of this for a 5-MINUTE role in a movie, by the way. I argued with him and left. This industry is especially messed up.”
- “That is so sad and true. Every girl can relate to this feeling. We truly deserve a better society. More power to each of the girls.” – AvailableNewspaper94
- “It’s astonishing to me that all the women in this thread are saying ‘I RELATE, THIS IS HOW I FEEL TOO,’ while all the men are like ‘Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? Be a human being to women? To WOMEN? Hashtag not all men.'” – ruakh·
- “My friend is incredibly talented. She recently made her debut in a movie. The casting director repeatedly made advances toward her, and she’s working diligently to secure another project through legitimate means. I hope she becomes a big star one day.” – Royal_Ease621
- “Men should cease exploiting their power for sexual favors and should reward women who adhere to their demands while penalizing those who do not.” – Limp_Luck_9215
As the last comment emphasizes, the truth is that women are conditioned and often penalized for not yielding to the advances of men. Women frequently encounter microaggressions and, at times, even overt aggression for not entertaining the pursuits of men.
